The Worst Kind of Wedgie

I remember a few years ago my friend was talking about your shower routine. Your shower routine is what you do in the shower every day. Most of us have a very predictable shower routine and if you deviate from that routine there's no telling what may happen. For instance, my shower routine starts with washing my face, then my hair and lastly my body.

One day, I decided to mix things up and wash my body first and I got totally confused and by the time I had gotten out of the shower I realized that I had completely forgotten to wash my hair. So the lesson to be learned is when something distracts you from your routine bad things can happen.

So tonight my wife had forgotten something at MiniChurch (we moved houses tonight so there's the first break of the routine) and I nicely volunteered to fetch it after she left for work (she starts at 11:00pm). Since we're somewhat sharing cars I took my motorcycle and rode on down to Enchanted Lake.

When I got home I started pulling into the garage and I noticed my brother hadn't parked very well. In fact, he was kind of at an angle and he made me sqeeze in between his car and the garage wall.

Well, as I was giving his car a dirty look, I started getting off my bike. Here's the break in the routine part...I usually turn off my bike, put the kick stand down and dismount my bike. Tonight, however, I turned off my bike and started to dismount my bike.

Notice the difference?

You guessed it. I started to get off and I slowly came to realize that it was leaning over way too much. This is one of the scariest moments of my motorcycling life (and I have been in several near-accidents). Talk about horrifying. There's nothing you can do when you're going over. Well, nothing except fall with your bike on your brother's car.

So now what? Now I'm wedged between my brother's car and my bike. I'm way to prideful to call out for help, but I'm also really uncomfortable because my bike weighs like 500 pounds without gas.

So after a few awkward, flailing moments between Stanton's car and my bike I took off my helmet and placed it on his car. Then with a Herculean effort and the brute strength of Samson, I grasped the beast by the handles and heaved it upright. Seriously, it was like something out of a movie. Like when the hero is stuck between a rock and a hard place and he has to decide whether to cut his leg off or die of starvation, but at the last second decides he has enough determination to lift the boulder off of himself.

I was all ready to gnaw off my arms and legs when I discovered that I am really strong! Whew...dodged a bullet that time. I shrugged off near disaster and left with nary a scratch. Next time it will probably be easier if I just move Stanton's car!